Thursday, April 18, 2013

My how the time flies

The sky is clear and bright blue.  The sun is dazzling.  I told Paige when we were leaving the house this morning 'Look baby God gave you the sunshine for your birthday!' Today is amazing.  Our baby is 2 years old.  Today I daresay is even better than her original day of birth.  Much less painful anyway.  For anyone who doesn't know this is my 'birth story.'  Fair warning: It's long and somewhat gruesome. 

Stay tuned for birthday party pictures from this coming weekend!

I had been on bedrest since March 15 and was required to take my blood pressure twice a day with very specific instructions.  I must sit in a chair and not move for 5 to 10 minutes.  Don't think about anything nothing happy, nothing stressful, move as little as possible.  When your 10 minutes are up take your blood pressure.  If you're not certain take it again - record it.  I had my parameters that the doc had given me with instructions.  I can't remember what the numbers were anymore but if I was in the 'better' category I could do one thing.  Such as go out for lunch (no walking), Make a meal, fold laundry.  If I was in the 'not great' category It was flat on your back for the day allowed up only to pee.  If I was in the red zone I needed to go to the hospital.  Well one evening Saturday April 16 the hubby suggested his friend J come over for a movie... sure I thought that'll be nice.  We watched a movie, laughed and had a grand time.  It's nice to partake in an 'activity' where everyone is sitting when that's all you can do.  I headed upstairs to bed when I realized darn it I forgot to take my blood pressure.  The cuff was plugged in downstairs.  Oh well I thought I'll just take it in the morning but something stopped me.  That little voice inside your head that knows best - NO it hollered - you MUST take it NOW.  Sigh okay.  So I marched downstairs and waited because having done the stairs twice now I had to sit for an extra 10 to 15 minutes.  I took it and casually glanced down at the numbers... umm 199/100.  Not good.  I called to C who was already in bed.  I think I need to go to the hospital... why he asked - are you having contractions? No but my numbers are bad I'm going to call healthlinks.  Can you get my stuff? Yep.  The answer was quick GET HERE NOW we are making a bed for you.  I waddled out to the car, C close behind bogged down with a suitcase full of items I didn't need to bring.  We chatted on our way starting to feel the pricks of nerves behind our ears.  This could be it.  My due date was still a few days away but this could be it. 

Upon arrival they got us settled and monitored me.  My BP came down to 'high normal' for a hypertension preggo.  They told us I was not leaving tonight, we would see in the morning.  I told C well if this is it you better go home and sleep.  It's not going to get any easier tomorrow.  I had to shove him out the door insisting that him sleeping in a makeshift bed would bring me no comfort - GO I'm a big girl I can handle this.  He left and I passed in and out of sleep.  In the wee hours of the morning I woke with a start.  I could hear screaming, horrible, painful screams.  Once I realized I was in a hospital not at home I started to calm down then I realized I'm also on a maternity floor.  I know why she's screaming.  Dear Lord.  I'm next?!?!  Morning came with a breakfast tray and C arrived with timmie's in hand.  He watched me eat my breakfast and our Doc arrived.  Well she said, given your blood pressure and condition we are going to keep you and induce labour.  C and I being the typical 'first timers' had our birth plan all laid out.  Induction was not on it.  Nor was pain medication - unless I felt I couldn't continue.  The next bit of news hit me right in my pride.  Also because pain - and induced contractions are more painful than natural ones - can raise blood pressure we are going to give you an epidural first and then start your pitocin (contraction medication).  Double bummer.  Because I was so puffy (hypertension will do that to you) it was hard for them to find a vein to put an IV in.  The anesthiologist did my first one and it took him two tries.  Then he did my epidural which the freezing was more painful than the actual giant needle.  Welcome to labour.  50 - 60 second contractions a minute to a minute and a half apart.  Walking was nearly impossible as my feet were so huge and fluid filled that I could not put on flip flops they popped off my feet.. yes there are pictures, no I will not post them here. Lol.  That night as I was in the bathroom leaking and oozing stuff no person wants to see much less see come OUT of them my IV popped out.  (I'm including this part of the story because to my mind it was the worst part of my whole labour and delivery)  At first I didn't realize what had happened all I saw was blood squirting everywhere. Walls, the floor, I didn't know what to think so I called for help.  The nurse rushed in and helped me back to bed.  Oh I thought it's only my IV they'll do another one.  Ha.  Because it was shift change time my seasoned-head-of-the-department nurse had just left and a clear newbie took her place.  She didn't look confident and actually looked kind of scared.  (I would've been too 'here put an IV in a water balloon but don't break it!)  She did 3 tries and each time they have to test it before they take it all the way back out. (which hurts just as much as putting it in)  I guess it's like baseball because the next nurse that came in also did 3 tries then quit.  By try #3 with Nurse 1 I was bawling and felt like quitting but that's not an option.  So you endure.  Nurse 2 called someone up from the emergency room and I felt hopeful.  C was ready to call one of our paramedic friends because this was getting ridiculous.  Emerg guy got there and tried to ask me silly questions so I might forget about my previous trauma.  He was trying so hard.  Poor guy I shut him right down.  Just do it, I said resigned to 3 more failures.  One poke and a few minutes later he declared, It's in!  I was skeptical at best, and you've tested it? Yep, he replied smiling.  I sobbed again, this time happy tears.  If my baby is a boy, I'm naming him after you! I cried.  Well, he said laughing, my name is Kevin!      

To this day, I'm so grateful for Kevin.  You were the light at the end of the IV tunnel!

Fast forward to the morning of Monday, April 18.  24 hours of 'active labour' later and still no baby.  We had been in the hospital since Saturday night and this schtick was getting old fast.  I was tired and doubled in size since I had arrived (fluid retention from all the medications I was on).  C asked if he could run and get a coffee I said yes and bring me blueberry muffins. (from Tim's) Muffin-s? he asked.  Yes. How many? he asked cautiously.  As many as they have.  20 minutes later he arrived with 3 fresh Tim Hortons blue berry muffins.  Oh they smelled so good!  I was about to bite into one when a doctor appeared in the door way STOP! Don't eat that! Seriously.  This is not dramatized.  You're going to have a C section today.  Oh. I kinda saw it coming but hearing those words its still like a bit of a knife to the heart.  The worst thing to us at that moment was a C section.  They gave us a time and then pushed it back.  That happened a few times until we finally got in after 2pm. 

Another funny {funny ONLY in retrospect} moment.  The anestesiologist comes in so I can sign the spinal waiver form.  I optimistically tell him,'I already have an epidural in that they've turned off so you can just put the spinal medicine in there right? I'm smiling ear to ear in my head YES! No more pokes! His face looks somber and he slowly shakes his head no.  (Poor guy I must've looked a mess) No? I ask.  You're going to poke me again aren't you? I yell as I begin to cry again.  I'm sorry, he says, but ma'am I need you to sign the form.  I'm bawling uncontrollably now and C tries his best to comfort me - hun you need to sign the baby will be here so soon.  I scrawl my name on the tear soaked paper.  The poor guy quickly leaves the room - if he'd have had a tail it would've been between his legs.  A whirlwind of medicla activity later I'm being wheeled on my bed down to the OR.  I remember lying there thinking, hm weird because all I could see was the hospital lights one after the other whizzing past.  There was a scene like this in an episode of criminal minds - is it normal to be thinking about criminal minds right now? Hm weird.  I guess that's what 17 {estimation and over exaggeration I'm sure} drugs in your system will do to you when you are a person who doesn't even take tylenol for a headache plus 24 hours of labour and 3 days of almost no sleep.

The nurses and doctors in the OR were great and held my hands (dads aren't allowed in the room when they do the spinal) and wiped my tears.  When I was numb and laying back C was allowed in the room.  I heard them say 'did you feel that test cut?' TEST CUT!!! WHAT THE CRAP!  So that's a no I guess.  What seemed like only minutes but felt like hours later our baby was born.  I heard the doctor say, "It's a boy!" but what he actually said was, It's not a boy!  All drugged out I was in and out of conciousness.  C told me, 'It's a girl' and in my head I said, no its not the doctor just said its a boy - what do you know?  But no words came out.  Then the doctor by my head asked, "Does your little girl have a name?" Ask her Dad I said and started to drift back to sleep.  I don't remember alot after that.  I was in recovery for awhile and eventually wheeled to my room where I saw my baby for what felt like the first time.  I was tearstained, sore, and light headed but over joyed.  She is here, she is perfect and she is ours. 

They say the pain fades and memories of your labour and delivery become vague and hazy the minute you hold your baby.  I can attest that is a bunch of crap.  Nothing is hazy I remember {almost} every minute of it but I can say the minute you see that baby, hold her close to you it is all so very worth it.  Paige has been in this world for 2 years now and every day that I wake up to that smiling (or frowning) face is amazing.  I am so grateful for the gifts that God has given me and so grateful for the honour of being Paige's mom.

xoxo

~t       






















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