Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Rude Jude may be imaginary...

Does anybody else ever wonder if something is all in their head?  Other people must - I can't be the only crazy one out there right? Right?

I work full time and have a toddler who goes to day care full time.  She loves it.  She has friends and brings home crafts and babbles for hours about this person and that person and sings songs that she learns from people who work there.  I also am secure in the knowledge that the people looking after her genuinely care about her welfare.  Their job is not just a job - they care.  Which is a good way to feel.  Having said that - life is crazy sometimes and the sand in my timer seems to run just a little faster every so often I will go and get groceries on my lunch hour.  Today was one of those days.

I work at a financial institution and so we have a pretty strict dress code and also get an annual clothing allowance with proof of reciepts.  (A huge perk and bonus considering they could very easily have a strict dress code and not give us that amazing feature.)  Today in particular I was wearing black dress pants, black wedge heels and a patterned blouse with a sweetheart neckline and a cream camisole underneath.  It's a pretty basic outfit - my hair got washed and brushed this morning and that was it.  I have no makeup on today because I fell asleep on my bed after my shower and only woke up at 8:10.  Paige was still sleeping, her lunch was not made - neither of us were dressed and I have to be at work at my desk for 8:30.  It was a RUSH to say the very least.  (Why am I telling you all this you ask? Because its important to the story to know that I did not look great.) 

Having said all that I could swear I was getting dirty looks in the grocery store from other moms with their kids.  Yeah I know that grocery shopping with one or more small people in tow can be a nightmare at its worst and inconveinent and slow at the very least but its not my fault I'm without my kid.  I could feel their looks saying 'Look at that woman she has no idea. Who wears HEELS to the grocery store?!? She must have it so easy'  I assure you fellow shoppers, I do not.  When I am not at work I take my kiddo everywhere with me.  The only time I get a sitter (which is almost always her grandparents on one side or the other) is if it will make her day better to be with them rather than with me.  If I were in the store on a day off or a Saturday I too, would be in sweats or jeans pulling a toddler along, stopping to chase her down the isles, reminding her that no we can not eat the food in the cart until we get home etc.  I even tried giving the 'dirty look givers' that 'I know where you're coming from and I sympathize' apologetic smile but that did not help.

Am I imagining this?  If you saw a woman in a grocery store in dress clothes and high heels would you make assumptions?  Or is this just some kind of mom guilt coming out in yet another strange and confusing way?  Mom guilt is real ya'll - no matter what you do or if you choose to stay home everybody has it.  What to do?  It wasn't just one mom either... which is making me question judgements I've unwittingly made and my own sanity. Urgh.  Is this week over yet?

xoxo

~t   

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